my friend erica insists that i have something new here for her to read while she eats her lunch every day. and since she is one of the three-ish loyal readers of this blog, i feel an urge to comply.
so, despite the fact that i am DYING trying to finish everything so i can leave for vacation with a clear conscience tomorrow, i give you this link:
which i find to be extremely, extremely bizarre. and f'ing hilarious.
E, don't ever say i don't look out for you, man...
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
the stupidity, it continues
i only have one second to write this, but i'd like to share two recently-gained pearls wisdom with you, my four loyal readers:
1) if you chop a lot of onions while making dinner, make sure you wash your hands THOROUGHLY (and by thoroughly, i mean scald those bitches in boiling water and maybe throw in some clorox bleach for good measure) before removing contact lenses from eyes. i'm just sayin'.
2) apparently it is possible to trip UP the stairs. i'm generally not a klutzy person, and i've heard a lot of stories about people falling down the stairs -- but apparently you can trip while going UP the stairs too, and bang the shit out of your elbows and knees (this seems physically impossible but i assure you that it's true). ironically, i think part of my korean name means "grace."
...you can just call me "smooth operator."
1) if you chop a lot of onions while making dinner, make sure you wash your hands THOROUGHLY (and by thoroughly, i mean scald those bitches in boiling water and maybe throw in some clorox bleach for good measure) before removing contact lenses from eyes. i'm just sayin'.
2) apparently it is possible to trip UP the stairs. i'm generally not a klutzy person, and i've heard a lot of stories about people falling down the stairs -- but apparently you can trip while going UP the stairs too, and bang the shit out of your elbows and knees (this seems physically impossible but i assure you that it's true). ironically, i think part of my korean name means "grace."
...you can just call me "smooth operator."
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
stupid is as stupid does (what does that mean, anyway? see? i'm stupid!)
as some of you know, i am already thinking about what's next for me in this crazy thing i like to call my "career" (quote marks necessary when you sell ads for a living. especially ads about toilets. i think that cinches the necessary-quote-marks deal quite definitively. btw, did you know that a toilet's flushing power is measured using grams of BEAN PASTE? yup, bean paste. bean paste is the official substance used by the toilet-powers-that-be to measure how much human waste a toilet can handle. and? just like cars have more horsepower than the average driver will ever need, most toilets that are available today can handle more bean paste than the average person will ever emit. BEAN PASTE. i bet you will never look at refried beans the same way ever again).
[END COMPLETELY UNRELATED AND DISGUSTING TANGENT]
[except for the fact that i partly embellished that story for dramatic effect. i haven't actually been associated with an actual ad for a toilet... yet. we've done some toilet strategy, but no toilet ads. heh. i actually really like working on this client, toilets or not. and i totally, totally want a bidet seat. so now you know what to get me for my birthday. why wipe when you can wash, eh?]
[END COMPLETELY UNRELATED AND SOMEWHAT LESS DISGUSTING TANGENT, #2]
the POINT of this already-horrible post was how i am thinking about what i want to do next. i heart austin, austin has the alamo drafthouse, you can wear flip-flops while you christmas shop here in austin, there are dead birds in austin, austin has queso, austin has town lake, you can get your tooth chipped in an unexpected bar brawl in austin... what's not to like? it has clearly been a very full ten months for me (ten months! already! yowza).
but as i sit around and consider the possibilities, oh, the possibilites, i find myself facing a new dilemma: corporate america has made me dumb. i mean, not DUMB dumb. i play a mean game of brickbreaker on my blackberry. i can send a meeting maker on microsoft outlook like nobody's business. i can churn out POVs, creative briefs, powerpoint decks, and research reports in the mere time it takes me to crunch my way through a single bag of cheetos. mm, dangerously cheesy!
yet... i don't know... dumb. my friend di was telling me how she read this article labeling us the zoomer generation to reflect the way we're so used to zooming from one thing to another on our way to the top. and i remember reflecting with my friend erica over this past holiday about how HARD we used to work in high school. as most of you know, i went to a total nerd high school. MAJOR nerd high school, and we worked our ASSES off. i distinctly remember sitting for hours and hours of testing our senior year (to the point where there was a several-week period where we didn't even have any classes, we just sat for AP test after IB test after god knows what other tests), and i also remember enjoying college a lot more than i did high school (although high school was pretty fun, too. we used to put all of our cars together in the parking lot after school, turn up our radios to the same station and have a parking lot party. a PLP, for short. don't you wish you went to high school with me?).
but if you asked me today to sit down and take 10 million tests on 10 million different topics (ranging from the different forms of 18th century sonata to analyzing french literature to chemical reactions, oh man, i was bad at those, to analyzing the causes of obscure european wars, etc.), or thoughtfully analyze some difficult poetry (stupid sylvia plath and her overly dark subject matters. i seriously think that the only reason her poetry is still taught in american high schools is because she had a famous husband and committed suicide by putting her head in the oven. "dirty girl thumb stump" blah blah), or go through the hellish process that was applying to college all over again... i don't know, i just don't know if i could do it.
it makes me wonder if the 17-year-old version of me was smarter than the 25-year-old version of me (yikes), or if my 17-year-old self was accustomed to using my brain in different ways, or if your brain really is a muscle that you can train back into tip-top shape. i like to think of myself as a relatively intelligent individual (i like crosswords! i read books! i listen to NPR! i keep a journal that is full of largely inane but nonetheless well-articulated thoughts!), but when i stop and think about the fact that this brain -- as it were -- is devoted to thinking about the best way to market a TOILET that flushes x amount of bean paste...
well. it's a humbling prospect, to say the least.
maybe it's time to get smart again...?
[END COMPLETELY UNRELATED AND DISGUSTING TANGENT]
[except for the fact that i partly embellished that story for dramatic effect. i haven't actually been associated with an actual ad for a toilet... yet. we've done some toilet strategy, but no toilet ads. heh. i actually really like working on this client, toilets or not. and i totally, totally want a bidet seat. so now you know what to get me for my birthday. why wipe when you can wash, eh?]
[END COMPLETELY UNRELATED AND SOMEWHAT LESS DISGUSTING TANGENT, #2]
the POINT of this already-horrible post was how i am thinking about what i want to do next. i heart austin, austin has the alamo drafthouse, you can wear flip-flops while you christmas shop here in austin, there are dead birds in austin, austin has queso, austin has town lake, you can get your tooth chipped in an unexpected bar brawl in austin... what's not to like? it has clearly been a very full ten months for me (ten months! already! yowza).
but as i sit around and consider the possibilities, oh, the possibilites, i find myself facing a new dilemma: corporate america has made me dumb. i mean, not DUMB dumb. i play a mean game of brickbreaker on my blackberry. i can send a meeting maker on microsoft outlook like nobody's business. i can churn out POVs, creative briefs, powerpoint decks, and research reports in the mere time it takes me to crunch my way through a single bag of cheetos. mm, dangerously cheesy!
yet... i don't know... dumb. my friend di was telling me how she read this article labeling us the zoomer generation to reflect the way we're so used to zooming from one thing to another on our way to the top. and i remember reflecting with my friend erica over this past holiday about how HARD we used to work in high school. as most of you know, i went to a total nerd high school. MAJOR nerd high school, and we worked our ASSES off. i distinctly remember sitting for hours and hours of testing our senior year (to the point where there was a several-week period where we didn't even have any classes, we just sat for AP test after IB test after god knows what other tests), and i also remember enjoying college a lot more than i did high school (although high school was pretty fun, too. we used to put all of our cars together in the parking lot after school, turn up our radios to the same station and have a parking lot party. a PLP, for short. don't you wish you went to high school with me?).
but if you asked me today to sit down and take 10 million tests on 10 million different topics (ranging from the different forms of 18th century sonata to analyzing french literature to chemical reactions, oh man, i was bad at those, to analyzing the causes of obscure european wars, etc.), or thoughtfully analyze some difficult poetry (stupid sylvia plath and her overly dark subject matters. i seriously think that the only reason her poetry is still taught in american high schools is because she had a famous husband and committed suicide by putting her head in the oven. "dirty girl thumb stump" blah blah), or go through the hellish process that was applying to college all over again... i don't know, i just don't know if i could do it.
it makes me wonder if the 17-year-old version of me was smarter than the 25-year-old version of me (yikes), or if my 17-year-old self was accustomed to using my brain in different ways, or if your brain really is a muscle that you can train back into tip-top shape. i like to think of myself as a relatively intelligent individual (i like crosswords! i read books! i listen to NPR! i keep a journal that is full of largely inane but nonetheless well-articulated thoughts!), but when i stop and think about the fact that this brain -- as it were -- is devoted to thinking about the best way to market a TOILET that flushes x amount of bean paste...
well. it's a humbling prospect, to say the least.
maybe it's time to get smart again...?
Monday, January 8, 2007
don't even think about it
austin is all up in the news today, and all i have to say is that i live about a mile away from where this is all happening and i went jogging through this area last night... and if i contract some mysterious aviary disease and kick the bucket before i leave for vacation this friday i'm going to be PISSED.
that is all. oh, and if i manage to stay disease-free and get to make it to switzerland only to discover that the famed swiss alps are completely snow-free (in other words, global warming has f'ed with my vacation) i am going to be even more pissed.
so don't even think about it, m'kay??
on a completely unrelated note, i had another culinary success this past wknd: roasted tomato and basil soup. DELISH. took several hours of effort but the result was worth every minute. yum.
that is all. oh, and if i manage to stay disease-free and get to make it to switzerland only to discover that the famed swiss alps are completely snow-free (in other words, global warming has f'ed with my vacation) i am going to be even more pissed.
so don't even think about it, m'kay??
on a completely unrelated note, i had another culinary success this past wknd: roasted tomato and basil soup. DELISH. took several hours of effort but the result was worth every minute. yum.
Friday, January 5, 2007
99 red balloons
(aka "the alamo drafthouse love-fest continues")
last night i made my inaugural visit to the famous original alamo drafthouse for one of the oh-so-quirky-and-unique special events. the theme was ladies of the 80s sing-along/dance party.
yes, you read that correctly. ladies! of the 80s! sing-along! AND dance party!
i had been completely out of it all afternoon (note to self: when the eye doc says they're going to dilate your eyes and that reading is going to be a bit tough for the next 4-6 hours, they're not kidding. i was driving with sunglasses on AT NIGHT because i couldn't take the reflections of the headlights! and the street lamps! the brightness, OH HOW IT HURTS), and had to drag myself out of my cozy apt to head downtown.
but let me tell you, nothing lifts your (dilated) spirits like some 80s music. and people wearing 80s outfits. the show was PACKED, and by packed i mean completely sold out with a stand-by line that went out the door. admission was a mere $11, and since this is the awesome alamo, i decided to order another root beer float to enjoy with the tunes and the bad hair and neon-colored make-up.
and then the show began. people, there was belinda carlisle. tiffany, who thinks we're alone now. debbie gibson, who gets loooost... in your eyyyyyyes. madonna, who suffers from occasional stigmata. a pre-crack whitney houston with crazy-ass hair. paula abdul! pat benatar! the song from flashdance! kylie minogue, who showed us how to do the locomotion (did you know that you have to sway your hips now?), and during whose song people conga'ed around the theater. joan jett and cyndi lauper and the go-gos.
but the piece de resistance! oh my. after a brief little closing blurb from one of the theater staff, we were told that the final song required some... props. and that props were taped to the bottom of the table in front of us, and that those props would give us a clue as to what the last song was.
so i reached under the table, found the tape, and pulled out... yup, you guessed it, a red balloon. they had spread out 99 red balloons throughout the theater, and when the video began, the balloon war began. people in the back rows batted theirs toward the front, and people in the front rows batted theirs toward the back.
if it any gets better than a ladies of the 80s marathon in an austin institution with a cold root beer float and a balloon war at the end, i don't want to know.
last night i made my inaugural visit to the famous original alamo drafthouse for one of the oh-so-quirky-and-unique special events. the theme was ladies of the 80s sing-along/dance party.
yes, you read that correctly. ladies! of the 80s! sing-along! AND dance party!
i had been completely out of it all afternoon (note to self: when the eye doc says they're going to dilate your eyes and that reading is going to be a bit tough for the next 4-6 hours, they're not kidding. i was driving with sunglasses on AT NIGHT because i couldn't take the reflections of the headlights! and the street lamps! the brightness, OH HOW IT HURTS), and had to drag myself out of my cozy apt to head downtown.
but let me tell you, nothing lifts your (dilated) spirits like some 80s music. and people wearing 80s outfits. the show was PACKED, and by packed i mean completely sold out with a stand-by line that went out the door. admission was a mere $11, and since this is the awesome alamo, i decided to order another root beer float to enjoy with the tunes and the bad hair and neon-colored make-up.
and then the show began. people, there was belinda carlisle. tiffany, who thinks we're alone now. debbie gibson, who gets loooost... in your eyyyyyyes. madonna, who suffers from occasional stigmata. a pre-crack whitney houston with crazy-ass hair. paula abdul! pat benatar! the song from flashdance! kylie minogue, who showed us how to do the locomotion (did you know that you have to sway your hips now?), and during whose song people conga'ed around the theater. joan jett and cyndi lauper and the go-gos.
but the piece de resistance! oh my. after a brief little closing blurb from one of the theater staff, we were told that the final song required some... props. and that props were taped to the bottom of the table in front of us, and that those props would give us a clue as to what the last song was.
so i reached under the table, found the tape, and pulled out... yup, you guessed it, a red balloon. they had spread out 99 red balloons throughout the theater, and when the video began, the balloon war began. people in the back rows batted theirs toward the front, and people in the front rows batted theirs toward the back.
if it any gets better than a ladies of the 80s marathon in an austin institution with a cold root beer float and a balloon war at the end, i don't want to know.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
procrastinator extraordinaire
i am being impressively unproductive at work today. the day has gone something like this:
- alarm goes off @ 7.
- i laugh and roll over and go back to sleep. screw the morning workout.
- i wake up @ 8, then go back to sleep.
- i wake up @ 8:10, then go back to sleep.
- i wake @ 8:20, then go back to sleep.
- etc, etc, etc until
- i finally get out of bed @ 9. oops.
- i drag my ass out of bed. sun is streaming in through the blinds and i've had plenty of sleep, but for some reason getting up is a major chore.
- i thank my lucky stars that i worked out last night and showered afterward, because this means that i can skip a morning shower.
- check blackberry. no major emails yet. hurray.
- get dressed, roll out.
- arrive at work, purchase breakfast taco and diet pepsi, breakfast of champions.
- proceed to waste about an hour wondering why my itunes isn't uploading my new song properly (i burned a bunch of data files to a CD last night but had trouble importing the songs into my itunes library -- any ideas??)
... and then decide to write in my blog instead of attending to the piles of work that are sitting around me. good times.
...but it's not a good post, it's actually just a list of brief phrases and then a photo essay about my new year's eve.
so, onto the pics, then?
INGREDIENTS OF A GOOD NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY:
1) someone with mad martini-making skillz
2) a core party team
3) someone raising the roof, er, i mean pillow?
4) a drunk dog (heh)
5) a pajama dance party
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
um... durrrrr?
happy new year, people! i am back up in the ATX and desperately trying to remember how the hell to do my job. i've been doing a pretty good job pretending, though, especially with the help of a steady stream of diet coke and breakfast tacos.
since i got really lazy about posting over the holiday, i must warn you in advance that this post is going to be a haphazard collection of unrelated paragraphs with minimal transitional sentences and even less insight, just blather about what i've been doing for the last week.
so! with that caveat, i present you with...
JENNIFER'S HOLIDAY SEASON, 2K6 (does ML still read this? ever? b/c every time i say "2K-something" i think of DEB 2000!!!! hi ML)
we'll go in reverse order b/c that's the most fun.
last night i had a really weird travel experience. now, i've traveled a fair share, and have had a reasonable amount of strange travel experiences (the time a man had to be restrained by the federal air marshal b/c he was freaking out, the time in korea where i seriously prayed for my life b/c i thought i was going to die, riding like a baller in international business class, riding like a loser in tiny-ass little planes that do flip-flops with the minutest shift in pressure change, that one flight attendant who had reggae playing when we walked on-board, he was cool, annoyingly chipper southwest flight attendants, etc etc etc). but this one was a first. we had left our gate @ dulles a little bit late but were heading toward the runway and were #2 for takeoff. turn onto open runway, blast engines on, accelerate, start charging down... and then SLAM ON THE BRAKES and veer off toward the right.
and then go back to the gate and sit there for 2.5 hours while they deal with the "warning message that came up during takeoff about a potential mechanical issue." good times.
instead of coming home around 7:30 with plenty of time to unpack, clean my apt, and cook a nice, healthy dinner, i came home after 11, exhausted, annoyed, and freaking LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING.
(by the way! cowboy survived the nine days without me! he is a serious pimp.)
okay so that's enough about my weird aborted take-off story. so, holidays? were great. chill. started off slowly with kim family fun (including a karaoke contest -- i got the highest score, boo yeah!) and then got really packed with fun friend outings (including a night in which i decided to break in my new shoes with ten million hours of alcohol-fueled dancing and a late night ride through the mcdonald's drive-thru. three blisters later, my feet are still mad at me. but the shoes looked good as hell) and ended up with a fun little jaunt to good old charlottesville, which i've heard described as "God's country" and is just so true. the hills! the smudgy blue ridge mtns against the gray sky! just gorgeous, seriously. i also learned that i am a MASTER MARTINI MAKER, y'all! seriously! i mean i knew i had CONSUMED a lot of martinis in my life but i didn't know that i could actually MAKE them! i was so impressed.
um, so what else did i do? i spent a lot of time at home with my parents. we made a huge birthday feast for my dad's birthday. i did some shopping. i bought three pairs of shoes. heh. i ate some insanely delicious indian food with the always-fabulous kattyk. i went power-walking around my parents' neighborhood with my mom. i slept in a lot. i had numerous conversations about marriage and relationships, which were thought-provoking and eye-opening. i visited cleveland park and had amazing italian food and delicious martinis in all of my old haunts with my good buddy nay. megan and i discussed the meaning of "til death do us part" in the overwhelmingly yuppie neighborhood of downtown bethesda (i didn't think it could get any yuppier, but it surprises me every time). i went to a james bond themed party and dealt a killer game of black jack. and also had a pajama dance party. i hung out with little people on christmas and got farted on by a deliciously scheming three-year-old (it was hilarious). oh yeah and i saw JIM VANCE!!! he is totally attractive. (this will only mean something to fellow DCers).
it's always strange to come back to austin after an extended visit home, because i feel like my life at home is very different from my life here in austin. life in DC = very full. friends, family, food, fun, all the F's crammed in as tightly as possible. it's vacation. i'm not working. i'm busy, but with mostly enjoyable things. it's lots of familiar faces and places. life in austin = a lot quieter. a lot newer. more work, less fun. less familiar faces, and more new experiences. things move at a quieter pace, and i am in control of most of the variables. it's different from going home in college, because i feel like i have an established life here in austin, but i'm visiting a life i had established in DC as well -- if that makes any sense.
it's good to be back, but i'm glad i went home.
happy new year, people.
since i got really lazy about posting over the holiday, i must warn you in advance that this post is going to be a haphazard collection of unrelated paragraphs with minimal transitional sentences and even less insight, just blather about what i've been doing for the last week.
so! with that caveat, i present you with...
JENNIFER'S HOLIDAY SEASON, 2K6 (does ML still read this? ever? b/c every time i say "2K-something" i think of DEB 2000!!!! hi ML)
we'll go in reverse order b/c that's the most fun.
last night i had a really weird travel experience. now, i've traveled a fair share, and have had a reasonable amount of strange travel experiences (the time a man had to be restrained by the federal air marshal b/c he was freaking out, the time in korea where i seriously prayed for my life b/c i thought i was going to die, riding like a baller in international business class, riding like a loser in tiny-ass little planes that do flip-flops with the minutest shift in pressure change, that one flight attendant who had reggae playing when we walked on-board, he was cool, annoyingly chipper southwest flight attendants, etc etc etc). but this one was a first. we had left our gate @ dulles a little bit late but were heading toward the runway and were #2 for takeoff. turn onto open runway, blast engines on, accelerate, start charging down... and then SLAM ON THE BRAKES and veer off toward the right.
and then go back to the gate and sit there for 2.5 hours while they deal with the "warning message that came up during takeoff about a potential mechanical issue." good times.
instead of coming home around 7:30 with plenty of time to unpack, clean my apt, and cook a nice, healthy dinner, i came home after 11, exhausted, annoyed, and freaking LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING.
(by the way! cowboy survived the nine days without me! he is a serious pimp.)
okay so that's enough about my weird aborted take-off story. so, holidays? were great. chill. started off slowly with kim family fun (including a karaoke contest -- i got the highest score, boo yeah!) and then got really packed with fun friend outings (including a night in which i decided to break in my new shoes with ten million hours of alcohol-fueled dancing and a late night ride through the mcdonald's drive-thru. three blisters later, my feet are still mad at me. but the shoes looked good as hell) and ended up with a fun little jaunt to good old charlottesville, which i've heard described as "God's country" and is just so true. the hills! the smudgy blue ridge mtns against the gray sky! just gorgeous, seriously. i also learned that i am a MASTER MARTINI MAKER, y'all! seriously! i mean i knew i had CONSUMED a lot of martinis in my life but i didn't know that i could actually MAKE them! i was so impressed.
um, so what else did i do? i spent a lot of time at home with my parents. we made a huge birthday feast for my dad's birthday. i did some shopping. i bought three pairs of shoes. heh. i ate some insanely delicious indian food with the always-fabulous kattyk. i went power-walking around my parents' neighborhood with my mom. i slept in a lot. i had numerous conversations about marriage and relationships, which were thought-provoking and eye-opening. i visited cleveland park and had amazing italian food and delicious martinis in all of my old haunts with my good buddy nay. megan and i discussed the meaning of "til death do us part" in the overwhelmingly yuppie neighborhood of downtown bethesda (i didn't think it could get any yuppier, but it surprises me every time). i went to a james bond themed party and dealt a killer game of black jack. and also had a pajama dance party. i hung out with little people on christmas and got farted on by a deliciously scheming three-year-old (it was hilarious). oh yeah and i saw JIM VANCE!!! he is totally attractive. (this will only mean something to fellow DCers).
it's always strange to come back to austin after an extended visit home, because i feel like my life at home is very different from my life here in austin. life in DC = very full. friends, family, food, fun, all the F's crammed in as tightly as possible. it's vacation. i'm not working. i'm busy, but with mostly enjoyable things. it's lots of familiar faces and places. life in austin = a lot quieter. a lot newer. more work, less fun. less familiar faces, and more new experiences. things move at a quieter pace, and i am in control of most of the variables. it's different from going home in college, because i feel like i have an established life here in austin, but i'm visiting a life i had established in DC as well -- if that makes any sense.
it's good to be back, but i'm glad i went home.
happy new year, people.
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