it just doesn't add up

when i first moved to austin, i bought a bike from a co-worker (that was also the weekend when i realized just how craptastic texas drivers really are). since then, i've definitely put the schwinny schwinn (i don't know why that name works, but for some reason it just GELS, you know? -- i'm gellin', are you gellin'? worst.ad.ever.) to good use -- especially during ACL as i smugly cruised past the hot, drunk, sweaty, dusty walkers and sailed home in record time -- but it's been a bit neglected as of late.

so when Nicole was in town this past weekend and i was trying to think of ways that would show her the magic that is austin's town lake hike & bike trail, i decided that biking was the answer. i dragged out the trusty ol' schwinny schwinn, we rented her a bike from one of austin's ten million bike shops (i swear everyone thinks they're lance armstrong here) and we hopped to it.

1.5 hours later, we were back at my apartment, tired and hungry but completely content. since then i have gone for several rides on the ol' S.S. and have been faced with a mind-boggling riddle that just doesn't make sense:

my ass is killing me from all that time on the wee little bike seat. KILLING ME. what doesn't make sense is that my ass is and always has been fairly well-padded (which i kinda like). so if one has a fairly well-padded ass, why would sitting on a bike seat cause such pain? shouldn't the natural padding act as a cushion, therefore protecting the rider from painful butt issues?

[shakes head in confusion]

more ATX love

while i like to think that i am a relatively open-minded individual, someone who is down for whatever, open to new experiences, happy to meet new people, willing to move to random places like texas, etc -- i also believe that there is much truth in the old adage that "old friends are the best friends." this weekend i had the pleasure of playing hostess to my beloved buddy nicole, with whom i share a plethora of random old memories, including, but not limited to:

• watching "coming to america" and "friday" ALL.THE.TIME in her dorm room ("sexual chocolate!")
• eating way too much late-night food from the greasy-ass castle (freshman 15, anyone?)
• doing girly college-freshmen things like curling each other's hair
• getting drunk for the first time in her dorm room on jack daniel's lynchburg lemonade
• etc.

i was determined to show her a good time, atx-style, and give her a much-needed break from the life of a NYC attorney in my effort to live up to the title of "hostess with the mostest."

what follows below is a recap of our weekend, and even more reasons why austin is a fantastic place to visit at this time of year:

FRIDAY: a warm, sunny day. i pick nicole up at the airport and immediately we start chatting at the frenetic pace that always takes over when you're spending with an old friend that you haven't seen in a while. the chatting continues all the way to my apt in soco and then over margaritas and queso @ guero's (maybe not the most amazing tex-mex you can find in austin, but it's reasonably priced, has the chill laid-back atmosphere that characterizes austin and is extremely close to my apt). we devour an entire basket of chips and queso (with pico de gallo mixed in, of course) and decide to order another round of everything -- more margaritas, more chips, and another cup of queso ("queso: it's what's for dinner"). we wander around the neighborhood, poking our heads into the shops that are still open, taking in the beauty of austin's skyline @ night before heading back home for a quick shower and getting-ready session. nicole scolds me for getting lazy in my fashion choices ("but... but... i live in austin... i can go to bars in flip-flops!"), i sigh and drag out some ridiculously tight jeans and high heels and low-cut tops in an effort to live up to her NYC standards. :)

a mere $5 cab ride later, the bar-hopping begins. we begin with a round of martinis @ apple bar, including caramel apple martinis, chocolate martinis, and mexican martinis (with extra olives please!). we then head down to cuba libre for some freshly-made mojitos (served with a stalk of sugar cane), and then end up @ red fez for some hip-hop and dancing. i hadn't been there since the TOOTH INCIDENT OF '06 and am pleased to say that the drama was not repeated. and then... hmm. what did we do next? i think we wandered around aimlessly in search of food that was not a) nasty-ass pizza or b) mystery-meat hot dogs (amusingly named "the best wurst," which makes me giggle every time i see it) and ended up cabbing it down to magnolia cafe, austin's version of the 24-hour diner with the oh-so-ironic slogan of "sorry we're open."

SATURDAY: yet another warm, sunny day (although, as nicole so aptly put it, austin has this weird crazy temperature drop syndrome -- WCTDS for short -- where the middle of the day will be 71 degrees and sunny and come 9 pm it's 42 degrees and you're shivering. WTF?). we begin the day on an active note... renting a bike for nicole and taking a long, leisurely ride on the town lake hike & bike trail. oh the happiness! the swans cruising in the water! the turtles sunning themselves on every available surface! the sun sparkling on the water surface as kayakers glide through the glassy water! the happy dogs trotting alongside their owners on the trail! we took a few detours to take some pics and check out some downtown scenes, but all in all it was a fantastic ride.

after the ride we drove out to driftwood for, you guessed it, some salt lick bbq (faithful readers of JMWT will realize that i've taken every single one of my visitors there for the seriously delicious bbq, the hill country views, the amusing fact that hays county is a dry county and that you have to BYOB or make a pit stop at bubba's country store for some brewskis). several heaping plates of bbq later, we made our way back home for a much-needed shower/nap combination. later on, refreshed and rejuvenated, we headed out for the evening: a much more chill version of fri night, starting off with cocktails and appetizers on the rooftop of union park (heat lamps, pretty wooden furniture, pillows everywhere), some ginger-apple martinis @ saba (with the live music from next-door cedar street vibrating throughout) and then a stroll down austin's famous 6th street (adams morgan on crack for you DCers out there).

.... aaaaaand it's time for a sidebar! weirdest/lamest/funniest moment of the night, and also How to Spot Yellow Fever: as nicole and i were walking down 6th street this guy literally planted himself in front of me -- i.e. blocked my walking path -- to tell me that he was sorry to interrupt me (yeah right) but he just HAD to tell me how beautiful i was, oh man i am so beautiful, just wow, blah blah blah bullshit blah blah blah. i thank him and try to move on when he dropped the zinger: "what's your ethnicity?" i gave him a semi-glare of death (maybe a 6.0 on the 10-point deathly-gaze-o-meter) and said korean, to which he responded that his ex was korean and started trying to say korean things to me. boo. just boo. take your lame-ass game elsewhere, because i'm not interested, thanks.

so, this post is getting really long. let's starting speeding things a bit, eh? SUNDAY we went to stubb's for mimosas and buffet @ their gospel brunch (a college choir from lubbock, texas -- they were FANTASTIC, i really feel like gospel music should be sung by young, energetic choirs like that), stopped by the annual kite festival in austin's famous zilker park (home of ACL), wandered in and out of the shops in my neighborhood, bought some ridiculously expensive jeans at a super-posh jeans boutique, and went for delicious mexican food and sangrias at el chile.

the end. pics to follow another time...

yeah yeah yeah self-serving blah blah blah

in lieu of a real post, i offer you a brief plug:

my friend dave's CD, the shanghai restoration project, which up until recently was only available for purchase via itunes... is now on amazon.com! and you should go! buy it! leave positive reviews! revel in his talent and the fact that purchasing this CD means that you can hear not only me but the lovely di johnston as well!

here are some additional exciting facts about the tracks:

- Introduction (1936) ~ theme song for upcoming worldwide Louis Vuitton advertisement campaign (Apr. 2007)
- Jade Buddha Temple ~ iTunes Japan Single of the Week (Nov. 2006)
- Miss Shanghai ~ featured on NBC’s “9.99” (Oct. 2006)
- The Bund ~ featured on ABC’s “The Evidence” (Jun. 2006)
- Babylon of the Orient ~ promotional track included in Sandisk’s Sansa e250 .mp3 players (May 2006)
- Lu Xun ~ featured in Rhapsody’s “Play Back the Night” advertisement campaign (Feb. 2006)

(we will now return you to your regularly-scheduled blogging)

slice of life

i think i am officially spoiled by the austin weather. i hear that it snowed another five inches in DC today... and while i admit i kind of miss the cozy sweaters, the steaming hot chocolate (with a healthy splash of kahlua or bailey's, of course) and my favorite puffy down jacket, i'm also kind of okay with the fact that it's not quite march and there are people laying out by the pool. i'm okay with the fact that i need to wear long sleeves at night but can definitely get away with flip flops during the day. the weather was gorgeous this weekend, sunny and warm and breezy, the kind of weather that makes you want to take a thick blanket and a good book and spend the afternoon just reading in a park.

i went for a run along town lake, and although everyone argues that barton springs is the soul of austin, i have to wonder if that's really the case. of course, barton springs has more historical relevance, it has its own breed of salamander, it's a naturally spring-fed pool, etc etc etc... but i feel like town lake -- by nature of being free and open to anyone and everyone -- has a more diverse following. there's something about it that seems to represent everything that i've come to appreciate about this town. there's the dog park, with millions of different breeds running around, sniffing each other's butts and splashing into the water to chase a tennis ball. there's the water area, where a local running store sets up free containers of water and dispensers with little cone-shaped paper cups. everyone throws their trash away neatly and is willing to tip the jug for you so you can get out the last few drops, and of course, there's even little dishes of water for the dogs. i mean come on. you know that shit would get stolen in DC in one second.

and then there's the people. during today's run i saw such a cast of characters i almost wish i had brought a pad of paper with me to take notes. little kids on bikes with helmets and mommy or daddy riding behind, one guy with so many tattooes up and down his arms that it looked like he was wearing a very colorful shirt, a bunch of UT sorostitutes with short shorts and t-shirts that read "UT chi-o" or "go kappa," frumpy middle-aged women wearing workout clothes that had probably been purchased in 1974, an older couple in polyester pants and nicely pressed shirts that looked like they had just come from church, a guy with impressive man-boobs, even more impressive nipple rings and a considerable gut that was jogging along in tight biker shorts, completely comfortable with himself, a really hot guy in under armour who looked like an NBA basketball player (umm... i may have given him a slightly longer glance than everyone else), lots of 20/30-somethings like me, jogging along with ipod earbuds in their ears, latina girls with dyed hair and short shirts walking hand-in-hand with their wife-beater-wearing boyfriends, rastafarian-looking white dudes riding beat-up bikes and looking like they hadn't eaten a proper meal in months...

it was all just so entertaining. everyone hanging out, doing their own thing, walking, running, jogging, huffing and puffing along, biking, strolling, soaking in the warm sun and admiring the sparkling water. it's a really odd thing to feel like you live in this happy little bubble where people leave water dishes out for the dogs and the sun shines in march and not everyone on the jogging trail is some fit 20-something hardbody but normal-looking people who care about their health.

(contented sigh)

all hail the allergy queen

this morning i went to the allergy doctor to see if i too had fallen victim to austin's claim to fame as the "allergy capital of the world" (you thought it was all about the live music - ha! you were wrong, friend, it's all about the cedar trees and juniper count down here). i was told to expect a fairly lengthy visit and instructed to wear short sleeves, because they were going to do a skin test.

you guys. have you ever done an allergy skin test before? it is simultaneously FASCINATING and comPLETEly freaky. basically they inject your skin with a million different types of substances that people in this area are allergic to, set the timer for 15 long, excruciating minutes, and then come back to see which injections have turned into angry little welts. i mean, doesn't that sound like fun? who wouldn't want to be subjected to such torture on a brilliantly sunny 80-degree day?

the procedure itself is two-part deal. they start on your back, so you basically lie on your stomach while the nurse takes a pen, marks the injection sites all over your back (so she knows which substance was injected where), pricks you ten million times with ten million different things, and then leaves you there to suffer for 15 minutes before coming back in to see which ones caused a reaction (she rates the bumps based on their size, and the higher the number, the stronger your allergy to that substance). rub entire back off with alcohol to remove ink and then move to part two: arms. they use a higher dose on your arms, so things that cause a reaction on your back are severe allergies whereas reactions to arm injections are more moderate.

i watched the entire arm procedure in complete awe. she had a tray of bottles with the various injections, a tray of needles, and was incredibly efficient. once she had written all the different numbers on my arms to mark the injection sites, she would deftly insert the needle into the bottle, suction up the mold/pollen/grass/tree/dust/dander solution, poke my arm and then inject the liquid until it caused a little white puddle beneath my skin. she was also very nice, and apologized over and over again for causing me pain/discomfort (the needles didn't hurt much but the puddling part was an incredibly bizarre feeling of wtf? and ouch!) while trying to make small talk to distract me from the million needles (when i told her i worked in advertising for a living, she asked me if i was a model in commercials. awwwwww. i felt bad when i had to tell her that actually no, i'm just another working stiff behind a desk). when she finally came back to assess the damage, what with all the numbers up and down my arms and the various little lumps i swear i looked like i had elevator buttons on my skin.

anyway, so it turns out that i am allergic to everything! (did i mention that i'm writing this blog entry in my newfound home of a plastic, hypo-allergenic dust-free bubble?) i have a severe allergy to cedar/juniper trees and a mild allergy to just about everything else you can think of. cats, dogs, cockroaches (oh darn, there goes that cockroach farm i had been planning on starting), all kinds of molds, tree pollens, grass pollens and weed pollens. the good news is that he said mild allergies really aren't that big of a deal (meaning that my dreams of someday owning a dog aren't completely dead! hurray) and won't cause many problems in my everyday life. the bad news is that i feel like a dork. allergies are so not cool. nasal sprays are not bad ass. clarinex does not a sexy party drug make.

oh well. good thing i'm such a natural beauty that people mistake me for a model instead of your average corporate whore. maybe i should pull an izzy stephens and become a model to fund my next academic adventure.

although i somehow doubt that the somewhat dubious title of "allergy dork" would do much for my career as supermodel extraordinaire.

alas.

in case you're looking for me on friday afternoon

i just got this e-mail confirmation:

---

"Hi Jennifer,

+++NOTE: NEW LOCATION+++

WHAT: Senator Obama Visits Texas

WHEN: 2:00 PM – Friday, February 23 Gates open at 12:30 pm.

WHERE: LOCATION MOVED. Now at Auditorium Shores, on Riverside and South 1st, on the south bank of Town Lake.

Thanks for RSVPing to the Austin rally."

----

i'm SO there!!

a very austin weekend

fresh from the whirlwind that was my business trip to Munich, I had the pleasure of hosting the lovely Erica Lloyd in ATX this past wknd. a dear old friend and loyal reader of JMWT, she rolled into town on Fri afternoon and asked me if we could "everything that I write about on this blog." so I did my best to oblige. what follows below is a recap of our oh-so-Austin wknd:

HOW TO EXPERIENCE JMWT'S AUSTIN IN ONE WEEKEND:

friday, aka "wow it's nice out" and "where are all the people of color hiding?"

• pick up E from airport
• E marvels at warm weather
• E marvels at ability to venture outside without a) down jacket b) whale blubber or c) both
• roll to apt. introduce E to cowboy. everyone is happy.
• dinner @ manuel's, downtown restaurant with interior Mexican cuisine. drink excellent margaritas at jam-packed bar while waiting for table. lament lack of color in restaurant, as I seem to be the only non-Caucasian person in the place.
• eat delicious food: corn gorditas with tomato/cilantro/tomatillo, pork enchiladas with complex and delicious mole sauce, fresh chips and salsa
• out to bars in the warehouse district: caramel apple martinis @ apple bar followed by more cocktails @ cuba libre (where we started an Official Minority Count and got up to 15 at one point, I think) and even more cocktails (and some water) @ lucky lounge, where the music was hip-hop and the Official Minority Count was much improved

saturday, aka "how much can we cram into one day?"

• wake up relatively early (I can do this when other people are waking me up), go for long run on town lake, marvel at weather
• put on eating pants, stretch out belly and head for family-style bbq @ salt lick bbq out in driftwood, texas. wait outside for table and get tortured by tantalizing bbq smells.
• the gorging begins: bottomless ribs, brisket, and sausage with fresh cole slaw (surprisingly good and non cole slaw-y), awesome potato salad (also non-mayo-y), pickles, onions, habanero bbq sauce, soft white bread, and beans.
• slowly begin the drive back to austin, notice that car seems much more heavy on the way back than it did on the way there
• stop at random hindu temple along the way, wonder what the hell a beautiful hindu temple is doing in the middle of driftwood, texas
• head to downtown for a whirlwind afternoon tour: visit capitol building, visit flagship whole foods market, visit my office
• time for THE ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE! order some food and drinks and sit back to enjoy master pancake theater, in which they take a deliciously bad movie, do a funny comedy routine at the beginning, sit in the front with two mics, do a funny comedy sketch in the middle and more comedy at the end. the movie was titatnic, and every time there was a close-up of jack and rose entertwining hands you had to yell "hand sex!" and take a drink.
• roll selves home and call it a day.

sunday, aka let's spend some money

• roll out of bed and decide hey, one day of endless gorging wasn't enough, let's make it two! climb into car, avoid marathon runners and head for stubb's bbq for their sunday gospel brunch (stubb's = famous restaurant / live music venue in austin). enjoy PILES of delicious brunch (eggs, sausage, grits, bacon, pancakes, biscuits with gravy, bbq, fruit, home fries, the list goes on and on) and live gospel music. i sing with the band for a few measures. everyone is pleased.
• head back to south congress ("soco" for those in the know) and wander in and out of the stores
• head to zilker park (home of ACL festival and the famous barton springs pool, supposedly the heart and soul of austin) for a brief restorative soak in the sunshine
• drive down to san marcos outlets for a quick retail break
• come back to austin and end the wknd with some southwestern cuisine @ z'tejas (specifically: more margaritas and mojitos, chips and queso, shrimp quesadillas and enormous salads)

i think it's safe to say that a good time was had by all. and that i'm going on an all-vegetarian diet for the next few weeks... the thought of bbq makes me want to be ill.

who wants to come visit me????