a post that is not about the cockroach

(I know! surprising, huh?? but for those of you that have inquired, the cockroach has since been removed from his comfy little set-up and has gone on to cockroach heaven, which, in case you're wondering, can be found by flushing yourself down the toilet.)

instead, I will write a very brief post about how I had house guests for the past five days and am now exhausted, poor, and possibly sick -- yet it was worth every minute/dollar. exploints included texas two-steppin' at the broken spoke (where, apparently, I danced with a man that someone called "Austin music royalty"), breakfast tacos at mi madre's, jogs along town lake, shopping in my SoCo neighborhood, pepper-crust burgers at woodland, seafood-stuffed chile rellenos and pomegranate margaritas at manuel's, champagne flights at cru, gospel brunch with the river city christianettes at stubb's bbq, champassion cocktails and cheese plates at my beloved hotel san jose and, of course, all-you-can-eat bbq at salt lick out in the hill country.

(honestly, it makes me full just thinking about it)

hope your wknds were as fabulous as mine. now, if you'll excuse me, I need some coffee and preferably a nap... wait, what? you want me to WORK? dude. you must be kidding.

R.I.P., motherfucker

breaking news from JMWT headquarters in Austin, TX:

last night, one huge motherf'ing cockroach met his untimely demise in the bedroom of yours truly. his death was marked by a yell of "OMG! you're still here! and you're in my BEDROOM! oh hells naw DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT DIE!" he met his little roach-ly maker when he fell victim to the cruel surprise of a heavy magazine falling from above. his remains are now entombed in the carpet underneath the comforting embrace of two magazines and five hardback volumes of harry potter, where he will remain until JMWT can pluck up the courage to lift said magazines + heavy volumes of harry potter in order to dispose of his squished carcass.

it must be noted that the country of Canada was valiantly represented in this battle extraordinaire by Toronto representative Paula Major, who is staying chez hotel JMWT and played a critical role when she helped move the dresser out of the way and later stomped around on top of the magazines to ensure that the roach was indeed dead.

kinda gives a whole new meaning to "earning your keep," no?

(confidential to the visitors who will be staying with me this wknd + anyone else that has ever considered visiting me: I promise you that this is not standard practice at hotel JMWT. please don't let this deter you from coming to visit me. I'm a great hostess, I promise! I'll take you jogging on the trail, I'll feed you breakfast tacos, we'll drink margaritas and go for all-you-can-eat-BBQ, okay?)

GROSS

so I have updates on NYC (awesome, ate a ton of food, my friends rock), work (drama, busy), and life (am thinking about making some Big Decisions), but instead, I feel compelled to tell you about the run-in that I had last night.

it was a COCKROACH, y'all. but not just any cockroach. it was a cockroach that, I shit you not, was ALMOST AS LONG AS MY INDEX FINGER. possibly even longer. and I have really long fingers, dudes.

*hunches over in corner to sob dramatically*

I armed myself with various tools (a heavy magazine, an empty plastic cup, a Q-tip, a blow dryer to blow him out of tough corners) and kept psyching myself up for the job ("he's just a BUG, you little pansy! he's more scared of you than you are of him! just catch him already and flush him down the toilet! stop being such a GIRL!"). serious combat ensued for about 20 minutes, but much like the gecko from a few wks ago, the cockroach escaped unscathed. the key difference was that I was sad to see the gecko go, whereas the sneaky departure of the cockroach freaked me the fuck out. is it like termites, where one cockroach means there are a billion other little friends hiding behind the walls? or is he just one adventurous little fucker who decided to check out the decor in my bathroom? WHAT IS WRONG with him that he is so abnormally large??

I texted my friend Kelly in a panic and she reminded me that cockroaches don't like light. you can bet your ass that I totally slept with the light on last night.

*whimper* someone come save me. Texas is crawling with creepy-crawlies, y'all.

nothing like a 4:45 wake-up call to start your day right

I'm in the lovely NY/NJ area for the next few days to attend a few biz meetings + re-unite with some beloved pals. y'all be good while I'm gone and I'll be back at you soon.

my wknd, or, what $150 + living in austin will get you

jen's very lazy* 2007 ACL lineup:

friday
joss stone (entertaining)
M.I.A. (great show)
gotan project (new one for me-- v. sexy argentinian band by way of paris)
bjork (love how weirdly unique she is)
killers (surprisingly good)

saturday
damien rice (super intense)
indigo girls (always good)
arcade fire (freaking amazing)

sunday
regina spektor/amos lee (preferred amos lee)
wilco (very good, I didn't know them that well before)
the decemberists (victims of crappy sound system)
bob dylan (historic but his voice is shot to hell)

*lazy means that I wasn't hard core enough to spend the entire day there. had I been more hard core this list would have been much, much longer but hey, I was happy with this list.

i just met bill clinton!

i shook his hand! we chatted!

he is taller and trimmer than expected. thick grayish hair that is quickly getting very white.

he has some serious charisma. i wanted to ask for a pic but i chickened out.

i am all distracted now.

greeted me in my shower this morning

do you think Geico managed to sneak him in there somehow in order to remind me that 15 minutes could save me 15% or more on car insurance? that would be some impressive direct marketing.

(man I am such an ad geek, wtf)