in praise of jetblue

it's official: i'm a jet blue fan (said in the tone of consultant bob in office space when he says "i'm a michael bolton fan").

i had long been interested in flying them based on many a positive review, and was pleased to discover that my office had booked the first half of my biz trip on a direct flight from AUS to JFK. my pleasant experience began long before the flight itself when i created an account online and became a true blue member. just like southwest, jet blue has bypassed the stupid frequent flyer mileage programs embraced by so many other airlines and done a straight up point system where once you reach 100, you get a free flight. no muss, no fuss.

check-in was a breeze... i'm a big fan of the kiosk system, and the screen savers on their kiosks were programmed with fun and quirky and non-TSA-seeming messages like "hey, what's up?" or a simple but effective "hello." once i got onto the plane, i was pleased to discover that despite its relative smallness (one aisle down the middle, 2-3 seats on each side -- pretty much standard for austin flights and something that i'm used to by now), it didn't disappoint on its promise of leather seats and a TV screen in each seat.

dude. the TV was money. the channels! the fact that you can start watching from the second you can in your seat! i started off with some food network (barefoot contessa, queen of the hamptons) and then decided to pony up $5 to watch a movie (easily purchased by swiping my debit card). i chose to watch the namesake and absolutely loved it. jhumpa lahiri is one of my favorite writers and although i still prefer the book to the movie i thought mira nair did an amazing job bringing the story to life. i even teared up at a few moments.

the service was a hybrid between continental's firm professionalism and southwest's (occasionally extremely annoying) quirkiness -- friendly but not overly so, professional but not robotic. they served drinks and snacks but otherwise left us the hell alone, which i appreciated. once the movie was over, i got completely caught up in TLC's show "miami ink" and started wondering if maybe i should get a tattoo (i haven't... yet).

we landed @ JFK 10 minutes before our scheduled arrival time and had to hang out on the tarmac a bit until our gate became available but all in all i would say that my first jetblue experience gets a 9 out of 10 (not a whole 10 because that just seems silly).

well played, jetblue.

who cares about zen

scene: newark international airport, newark, NJ. monday night.

key players:
1) yours truly (YT)
2) dippy flight attendant chick (DFAC, not to be confused with AFLAC)
3) rocker TV producer guy (RTVPG)
4) evil, evil continental airlines (EECE, who i generally love and who my friend di is genuinely obsessed with)

and.... action!

EECA: "attention, ladies and gentlemen. we just wanted to come on the PA to let you know that we hate you. i know you're tired after a long day of client meetings. i know you are going back to austin against your will and that you'd rather stay in NYC to play with friends and enjoy the sunny-but-disgustingly-hot weather. but mwahaha! we are delayed."

YT: "hate. hate for everyone. i know austin has made me chill and whatnot but still. haaaate."

EECA: "ok, it's not that bad! i know your flight was supposed to leave at 8:15, but newark is a giant cluster fuck that was thrown off by a teensy bit of weather. it's 8:45 now, let's board."

YT: "not so bad. haaaate is diminishing somewhat. may make it home before midnight! rejoice!"

(we board airplane)

(sit at gate)

(sit at gate)

(meet seatmates, DFAC, who is very earth-mothery looking with a fantastic complexion and RTVPG, who is very tan and tall and fit-looking)

(one hour has passed. we still have not yet left gate.)

(movement! hurrah! the plane groans its way toward the tarmac.)

EECA: "so yeahhhh, ladies and gentlemen. i know you've been sitting at the gate for an hour. i know you are hating life. i know your seatmates are annoying the shit out of you by their incessant chatting. maybe they will fall in love and become life partners, but still, can't they do so more quietly? i mean really. anyway, so yeah. i've got some bad news. we're going to be parked here on the tarmac for... [dramatic pause] about another hour and a half. we're at the end of a long line."

YT: "rage. seeeethe. hate."

DFAC, talking to RTVPG next to her: "so yeah, i'm a vegetarian. i just, i don't know, the way those animals are killed just seems so wrong, you know? don't get me wrong, i love me my fish. in fact, i had this amazing fish in lisbon the other night, but there were just so many bones? i thought i was going to choke on a bone! and i don't eat shellfish. i mean, don't get me wrong, i've had fresh oysters, and they are so delicious! but then i realized they're fresh out of the water and i just felt so BAD! and how they boil crabs alive? it just makes me so sad!

RTVPG: "mm-hmm, yeah. right. okay."

YT: "hmm. am suddenly craving some MD crabs served with a healthy dousing of old bay seasoning and an ice-cold corona served with lime. or maybe some fresh oysters on the half shell with plenty of tabasco and lemon juice."

DFAC: "i mean, i just think that my destiny here on this earth is to give out peace and harmony wherever i go, you know? wherever i'm heading to next, i want to give out as much love as i can while i'm here. i really think that's my calling. i think it's so important. that's why i love to travel so much. i just feel like i'm a citizen of the world, you know? even though my passport says the U.S.? that's why i'm a flight attendant, although i just have a really hard time with the bureaucracy of it all, you know? all the corporate stuff? i just want to give all my passengers love and take care of them like they're my family."

RTVPG: "mm-hmm, yeah. right. okay."

YT: "excuse me while i barf. the usual austin jen would have said now i'm sure she's a lovely lady and she has great skin and the world needs some more love, kumbayah and all that, but right now? i'm trying to sleep you dippy bitch! shut the f up!!!!!!!"

EENA: "hiiii, ladies and gentlemen. have you gone completely postal yet? okay, so i have great news! we're totally great. we are going to take off EARLIER than we said! isn't that fantastic? i mean, aren't you totally blown away? so yeah, now that it's after 10 pm and you've been sitting here wanting to die for the past few hours, let's embark on a three-hour journey to texas! hurray!"

DFAC: "so yeah, i just don't understand the celebrity stylist thing. i mean, true musicians are supposed to be artists, you know? i'm a singer, and a lot of my friends are musicians. and they're real artists, and their styles should reflect their PASSION, and their individuality. i'm friends with this norwegian band, they're kinda like psychedelic pop? and their leader, he writes all their songs, he wears these great velvet suits which are just so right for their ART, you know?"

RTVPG: "mm-hmm, right. yeah. okay."

so this went on and on and on and on and on until i couldn't take it anymore. i was annoyed, i was exhausted, i had been up since 7 am, the entire plane was silent and dark except for these annoying yahoos who were yammering on like a pair of fools. my ipod was blasting into my ears in an effort to drown these two out, but that wasn't working and besides, my ears were starting to throb and i really wanted to sleep. i finally turned to them, put on a big smile, and said "excuse me, i'm so sorry to interrupt you, but i was wondering if you wouldn't mind speaking a little more quietly? it's just that i can hear your conversation and i don't want to feel like i'm eavesdropping. that'd be greeeeat, thanks. YOU ANNOYING FUCKERS."

okay, so i didn't really say the last part, and about two hours into the flight they finally quieted down a bit and i was able to get some sleep. does saying this makes me a heartless bitch? honestly i couldn't have cared less. i do think i've chilled out a lot since moving to austin but last night i just couldn't take it anymore. who cares about zen when you have annoying DFAC sitting next to you and waxing poetic about the meaning of her life.

argh.

fascinating

i found this photo gallery (found through fark) to be completely fascinating. topic: what a family eats in a week in 15 homes around the world.

things that stood out to me:

• mayonnaise sandwiches in the U.K. - gross!
• the african refugee camp family
• the amount of packaged foods in the american families' pictures
• the amount of neon-colored things in the NC family's picture
• the overflowing amount of fruits/vegetables in non-american families' pictures
• how much $ the germans spend on their food
• how good some of the recipes sounded (i.e. chicken biryana with basmati rice and fried shredded pork with sweet and sour sauce)
• how unappealing some of the recipes sounded (pig's knuckles with carrots, celery and parsnips or bacon & herring from germany)
• how much i loved the ecuadorian family's hats
• how the bhutan family feeds what looks like ten generations of relatives on $5/week

what stands out to you?

bits and pieces

nothing super thought-provoking here, just a collection of things that have been going on with me lately:

IN THE WORLD OF FOOD:
i have revived my love affair with cinnamon toast crunch. it's just so GOOD! the cinnamon-y taste! the crunch of the little squares! feels like a decadent treat, and makes me drink milk. i also tried to grow a basil plant. that did not work very well. i got two caprese salds out of it before it decided to up and die. *sigh* guess i don't have much of a green thumb.

IN THE WORLD OF EXERCISE:
i have recently started up with pilates class. i took a few private lessons (with an ex-ballet dancer of an instructor who told me that she retired at 22 because she was starting to getting arthritis and rewarded herself with a new set of boobs) and a few classes and am officially hooked. i like how strong you feel afterward.

i have also recently started swimming laps in my neighborhood pool (not to be confused with the melrose place-esque pool in my apt complex, where all i do is tan and wish the frat boys wouldn't play their music so loudly). dude, swimming laps is much harder than i remember. i always get annoyed during my workout for two reasons: 1) i think i'm going to crash into the other swimmers in the lane and 2) my goggles always fog up / let in water / feel uncomfortable (i guess that's what i get for buying the cheapest pair). actually there was Major Drama at the pool the other day -- i didn't pay too much attention because i didn't want the guy to feel like a spectacle but i guess some guy was having heart trouble and they had to call in an ambulance and cart him away. not good.

IN THE WORLD OF WORK:

i am heading to NYC for a meeting on monday, and i get to fly jetblue! i am excited. hopefully they will not strand me on the tarmac for countless hours on end. i promise to report on the comfort of the leather seats and the quality of the cable TV.

kind of like three little birds upon my doorstep, but worse

as I came out of the shower this morning, I was greeted with the lovely sound of male voices on my balcony and shadowy figures visible through my mostly-drawn mini-blinds. I was immediately all "WTF?! CALL 911!" and then realized "wait. I knew this was coming. they are painting the side of our apt building and they had papered up all my windows in preparation." even though I knew the painting was happening soon, it would still have been nice to receive some warning that people were going to be all up on my balcony. I've got BAGGAGE when it comes to this sort of thing, people. this means: story time!

today's story: The Time(s) When Mandy and Jen Had A Peeping Tom

this is a double-whammy. one night as I was driving home from work, I got a call from my roommate-at-the-time, the lovely Mandy Corrie (M: do you still read this blog? if so, hi! I'm so excited for the new HP book and plan on calling you as soon as I finish it so that we can trade theories! snape = GOOD OR EVIL? we will now know!). it had been a late night for me and she had already gone to bed, and she was calling to let me know that I shouldn't be alarmed to come home to police officers in our apt. umm, wtf? turns out she had seen a shadowy figure outside her window (that was the first and last time I live in a ground-floor apt) and called 911. they didn't catch him, but we were both thoroughly freaked. there were bars on our windows, so he couldn't necessarily have climbed in... but the idea that someone is watching you while you sleep is still a freaky idea.

time #2: this time we were both home and in our respective rooms, reading in bed. all of a sudden my phone beeped -- I had a text message. it was from Mandy in the next room, and all it said was "he's at my window again. call 911, then meet me in the living room." I dialed 911, asked them in a whisper to send someone out as soon as possible, and stealthily crept into the (dark) living room. Mandy (who had sneakily rolled out of her bed and army-crawled into the living room so he couldn't see her moving -- this is why she is now a special agent for the state dept) met me there and we hid on the living room floor, wondering when the police were going to get there.

when they eventually arrived, they went around back and found his footprints in the snow -- he had been standing so close to Mandy's window that had it been open, she could have reached out and touched him. he had obviously escaped by then and despite their efforts to find someone, it was a lost cause. we told a few of our neighbors about it and they told us that things like this had happened before (note that we lived in a pretty nice part of DC) and that peeping toms would figure out which apts had women and then just hang out, waiting for a glimpse (?).

... which was basically a huge tangent to tell you why I was (understandably?) freaked out to be greeted post-shower with the image/sound of men on my balcony (even though they were being paid to be there). it's a better wake-up call than the smell of coffee, I'll tell you that much.

I'm easily amused

I was working on something for a Year End Event at work, and when I looked at my print-out of the document, I realized I had typed "Rear End Event" instead.

heh. Rear End Event.

now that would be something to check out, doncha think??

weekend in review

after a week-long illness and general blah-ness, I was pretty ready for a wknd that would achieve the perfect blend of fun... yet lazy! fri night after a quick drink @ a wine bar, I headed to my beloved Alamo Downtown for an evening o' fun with a buddy from work. it was Master Pancake Theater time - where they take a deliciously bad movie and make some delicious bad comedy out of it (with comedy sketches before and during the movie + running commentary throughout). fri night was breakfast club, and although there were moments of hilarity I'd have to say that it paled in comparison to Titanic and Pretty Woman - or maybe those movies are just so much worse and therefore funnier in comparison?

after the movie we wandered around downtown to take in the scene that is the ROT rally... or, to be more specific, the Republic of Texas Biker Rally. oh yes. you read that right. it could easily be summed up in the following phrase: lots of leather, leathery skin, old and leathery tattoos, and leathery-looking boobs. it was fascinating. there were over 50,000 bikes in town and these people were SERIOUSLY ready to party. they had blocked off a main part of downtown for parades, rallies and speeches... it was like another world.

saturday I went to a pilates class (and my abs are still hurting) and then spent the afternoon recovering by the pool. Texas is HOT these days, people -- it was 90-something and sunny -- and the pool was completely packed. I've said this before and I'll say it again... I seriously live at the modern 2007 reincarnation of Melrose Place. I was the only non-blond non-fake-boobed chick in the place. everyone was drinking beer, listening to music, and tanning their already-ridiculously-tan bodies. I felt like a total academic in comparison with my reading material (a book) and drink of choice (ice water). later on I ended up going to a neighborhood pool to swim some laps and was extremely relieved by the lack of overly tanned fake boobs.

saturday night I had the following conversation with a stranger while on my way to meet a friend for dinner:

(I had noticed that the block was packed with people who were clearly waiting for something to begin)

me: "'scuse me, but can you tell me what's going on? is it the biker rally"
him: "no, it's the gay pride parade."
me: "really?! um... did they not realize that this wknd was biker wknd?"
him: "actually, it's always planned for the same wknd."
me: "on purpose?! get out. that is hilarious."
him: "more leather for everybody!"

(which led to much amusement on my part)

anyway, sat night was dinner + drinks with a friend, after which I fell asleep on top of my covers with all the lights on and my contacts still in. klassy, no? sun morning I had the BEST DIM SUM ever (in Austin! who knew?!) with my buddy Jordan. we were completely blown away by the amount of asian people in the joint... I mean seriously, where have these people been hiding? then I went to a wine-tasting, where I had to watch my intake so I wouldn't end up completely drunk on a sun afternoon.

the rest of the day passed with grocery-shopping, laundry, and errands... all in all, an excellent wknd, wouldn't you say?